How to handle emotional disconnect in marriage

Carol Adams
Aug 4
2 min read

BY: CAROL ADAMS

Check In Instead of

Checking Out

Emotional disconnection can be challenging, but withdrawing only widens the gap between you and your spouse. In our Adventures in Marriage program, we emphasize the importance of bonding in a relationship. Every spouse desires to feel connected, yet during tough times, it might seem easier to shut down.

Try this: The next time you feel distant, ask your spouse how they're doing or utilize a communication tool you've learned from our classes. Then, truly listen. This leads us to our next tip.

Validate Before You Fix

Everyone wants to be heard, but few know how to listen effectively. When your spouse shares something heavy, respond with empathy:

"That sounds really hard."
"Tell me more about that."

Avoid saying things like, "You shouldn't feel that way," or jumping straight to solutions. We've found that most marital issues can be resolved simply by listening. As David W. Augsburger aptly said:

“Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.”

So, the next time your spouse opens up, prioritize validating their emotions before offering solutions.

Celebrate the Small Stuff

Support isn't just for tough times; celebrating the little things can significantly enhance your emotional connection. Early in relationships, this comes naturally, but over time, we might overlook its importance.

Think of small wins: a good day at work, progress toward a goal, or even completing a household task. Daily appreciation doesn't require grand gestures but can profoundly impact your marriage.

Be a Sponge, Not a Hammer

Creating a safe space where emotions are welcomed, not criticized, is crucial. When your spouse shares their feelings, strive to understand their perspective. Even if you disagree, avoid shutting them down or ignoring them. Listen to understand, not necessarily to agree.

Life constantly demands our attention, but dedicating a bit of time each day to focus on your spouse and implementing these tips can significantly strengthen your emotional bond.

We share these tips and more on our social media pages! If you're not following us yet, we'd love to have you join our community for more helpful marriage and family insights:

Facebook: Live the Life Ministries
Instagram: @livethelife_org

For more information about the Adventures in Marriage program, visit our official page:

Adventures in Marriage: Live The Life Live The Life

This program offers interactive sessions that teach couples practical skills to build a healthy, thriving marriage. Whether you're looking to strengthen a good relationship or rebuild a struggling one, Adventures in Marriage provides valuable tools and insights.