By Ashley Albertson
We've heard the Beatles say it, "All you need is love", but is that really true?
According to our overwhelming divorce rate, maybe we need a little more than love. Every couple walks down the aisle on their wedding day sure that they will make it, that they are different, that their love is real. So what goes wrong? How do we go from happy and in love, to hopeless and alone? I think one of the biggest contributing factors to couples breaking up is that they believe marriage will fix everything. "When we get married he will stop ignoring me and pay attention to me", "When we're married she'll stop nagging and complaining about everything" and so on and so on.
We think marriage is this magical switch we can flip and change the person to our ideal mate, when instead it's the opposite. I once heard someone say, "marriage makes everything greater; greater stress, greater happiness, greater problems, greater intimacy, greater responsibility, greater highs, greater lows." You're not solving all your problems, you're amplifying them. So my single friends, how can we have love and a happy marriage? My suggestion is: get to know the person you are dating and in love with, like really know them! Talk about everything, see how they react in different social situations, how is their relationship with their parents, how do they handle money, what are their expectations for a family. Most importantly, don't cross your fingers hoping they will change once you walk down the aisle! Is the person you are getting to know someone you can live with for the next 60 years, even if they never change?
Here are some great questions to ask your significant other to get to know them! What makes you feel the most loved?
What’s your dream date night?
What’s your favorite romance movie? Why?
Who is someone you admire? Why?
What’s the number one thing that you think makes a relationship last?
What do you love most about me?
What was your last relationship like? Why did it end?
Who do you think makes a great example for a relationship and why?
What was your first impression of me when we met?
Which parent were you closest to and why?
What have your learned from your previous relationships?
If you could travel anywhere in the world with me with no monetary restrictions, where would we go?
What song do you think of when you think of me?
Is there anything about me you might not know but want to know?
If you could describe me in only one word, what would it be?
What are your thoughts on religion?
When and what was the first moment you knew you were in love with me?
What could I do to improve our relationship?
How do you handle your finances?
What was your childhood like?
What’s been one of the funniest times we’ve had together?
What do you say to others when you talk about me?
How do you handle anger?
What are your political views?
What do I do that helps you calm down?
Is there anything I can do to help you feel more special?
When are you the happiest with me?
What great adventures do you think we’ll achieve in the next 5 years?
What values do you think are most important in a relationship?
What was your parents relationship like?
Is there anything you’re afraid to accomplish that I can help you with?
Is there anything you’d like me to be willing to change?
Has anything surprised you about our relationship?
What can I do to encourage you on a regular basis?
What strengths do you see in our relationship?
What weaknesses do you see in our relationship?
What goals would you like to set for our relationship?
What do you think is most important for communicating in our relationship?
What moment would you want to relive again and again?
What is something little I do that makes you smile?